Lol, I can see that I was both excited and distracted when typing this out! 😅

I love this! My workshops are all about creating safer community connections for young people 🤗 well, that and supporting parents in knowing what IS age appropriate topics young people at different ages, and most importantly HOW to navigate these conversations without the awkward ick factor

Also, pleasure work is a mix of hard and good times. The spaces I'm in to ensure my work as a mental health professional can sometimes be touch and go. I'm SO thankful for the queer spaces in mental health where I can safely build my skills. But pleasure work often starts with acknowledging pain. And helping people out of the shame pain often leaves us in. But when the pleasure work starts 🥳🥳🥳🥳🔥🔥 Listening to how people are taking back their power, their pleasure and their lives, in ways that are accessible to them 💣

When we finally spoke about the grumpy, they said that sometimes it feels like bringing it up will be helpful, and othertimes it feels like I'll only get more upset for being so grumpy. That this was the latter, and after they sensed it had passed, did they gently comment on it. Lead to a really needed and helpful conversation about how I am way more transparent than I realise, and that I don't always know where I am, but others sense it.

I'm so excited for you Tshego! This journey you are embarking on is so important! I feel so privileged to be in this group where you may share some of yourself about it. Sending so much love your way

This has been a tough one to answer, because I honestly done know. My spouse pointed out that I was grumpy a few weekends ago- after it had passed- and I honestly thought I was just in a slightly not great mood. I thought I had done a good job of acknowledging it for myself, so that it didn't leak out everywhere. Reality check, it leaked out EVERYWHERE. I did some reflecting, and there was a lot going on. I had felt unsafe in a professional development group where a supervisor casually(and violently) discussed sexual diversity from the straightest, uninformed space with a clear lack of curiosity. It took my spouse checking in with my grumpiness (4 days later) for me to click how much that had impacted me. I messaged a colleague in the group (not the person who was casually violent) and shared my thoughts and reflections. (It was her case being discussed, so it felt ok to say I disagreed, but didn't feel safe I the group to do so. Here are my thoughts on what might be going on with your client, and some avenues to explore with them) My mood has picked up since. And I think holding my own boundaries like that, even if it feels not enough (my mean brain says it's only enough when it's in the moment of violence, which isn't always possible) really helped me to stand in myself for the talk with the religious schools (who are anti queer, so I had to be subtle with the queer info, and less subtle about the damage that threats of hell do to people's healthy development.... I'm leaning into the rest of the year. There is a sense of uncertainty which my anxiety is trying to latch onto. But being flexible and allowing rest feels like keys to navigating what is left of 2021

I've been doing money trauma work through Vangile Makwakwa's Wealthy Money course since 2017. I'm not a consistent student, it takes time to process the layers that come up. I've watched my parents live lives they can't afford my whole life. Their debt is terrifying. I know this is all middle class stuff, but we lost the house in a bad business deal when I was a child. The fights at home were always about money, promises were made and not kept. I opted for public school for high-school so I wouldn't be a financial burden, and could take the bus to school. As a result I'm terrified of credit. Since last year I've had to use my credit card for some stuff and it has been immensely stressful. Then this year I've had medical expenses like never before... I don't have much in savings - I'm terrified I'll have to use it to financially look after my family, so there is a sabotage element there. No savings mean I can't look after them in that way.... One of the things I've learned through Vangile is that money is energy, how we feel about it reflects back to us in how we receive it. There was another process in the course which has been interesting, which is to treat money like a lover. And write them letters regularly. How would you like to show up for your lover, and for your lover to show up for you? When does money make you angry? Etc....

When I have meetings where like minded friends are also present, we try to schedule a post-meeting call to debreif and check in, which feels like a form of aftercare?

As a mental health professional, I try to be mindful of where my clients are, and incorporate a form of checking in/aftercare in the last 10 minutes of the session. It doesn't always work the way I'd like it to, but it's how I've been trying to be more mindful in people leaving the space a bit more contained.

Casey Blake, Registered Counsellor and Sexuality Educator, with a special interest in sexual well-being. ❤

2. Pleasure is about life-force. It is about feeling good without having to leave ourselves in the process. When we know what brings us pleasure,we can recognise that we deserve it. Which helps us recognise when things are not good for us. There is sometimes a subtle but distinct displeasure or lack of pleasure. 4. The normalization on humanness and authenticity. Of the pain these last 18 months have brought,along with ways of surviving and even thriving. Watching different support spaces grow over the pandemic, how people really do care about strangers on the internet. 7. Being able to say no, allows us to say yes to what truly brings us pleasure. Without No being respected, Yes is meaningless. 8. Pleasure is a pathway to life. Being present makes it even more so. We all deserve pleasure and presence, but maybe life and Trauma made you think otherwise. Start with something small and more accessible to you. For me it was allowing myself icecream when I wanted it. Without the judgment that it wasn't good for me, or I needed to earn it. I'm alive, that is earning/deserving enough

I don't know what it is called, but every time I feel this crushing feeling, the people in my life remind me to think about why I started. Why are you here? Where were you hoping it will take you? 🌺🌺 I can't agree with Tshego more! Be kind to yourself with what your best is. You can't possibly do more than your best. 💜